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| Jackson at 1 week old |
I can't decide if the week went quickly or slowly, or if it should be counted by the minutes or by the tears we survived.
Half of the week was spent in the hospital, with the helpful staff coming to make sure Jackson was being fed and diapers changed and to check on my pain and to give me pain meds. Lactation specialists would also peek their heads in to make sure things were going well in that regard. Jackson could spend the night in the nursery and the nurses would bring him in whenever he needed to eat, but it allowed for Chris and I to get some sleep. Then we came home.
In all honesty, things haven't been that bad since coming home. It was nice to be able to finally sleep in my own bed, however I missed the feature that would raise the head of my bed for me at the hospital as I currently still do not have any abdominal muscles. I struggle with a lack of routine and with all the restrictions placed on me (no vacuuming, no lifting more than my son, no running...), but these will be short term. I love snuggling with my son and falling asleep with him on my chest. Or finally figuring out some of his cries. If only he knew that eventually, gas will be the least of his concerns, and that he didn't need to lose his ever-loving-mind over it.
I have read that breastfeeding can be difficult, which always baffled me. How can something that seems so natural be so challenging? However, there is an entire profession dedicated to help women who struggle with it. Sometimes I wonder if any of these lactation specialists have struggled with breastfeeding themselves or just spout out what the books say. Have they had to struggle with frustrating anatomy? A baby that just screams anytime you try to feed him/her? Late, late nights spent seeing who can cry harder, Mom or baby, just over frustration and feelings of total inadequacies? I can see how easy it is for women to quit- especially if they don't have the support from their husband/partner. In all honesty, I have no idea how I would survive without my husband. Him being able to take two weeks off has been a life saver. Fortunately, there has already been some slight improvement, which at least offers a light at the end of the tunnel.
Jackson has had the opportunity to meet most of the family. It's amazing to see how quickly he suckers everyone under his spell, myself totally included!
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| Love this picture. Pure Grandma bliss :) (Chris' Mom) |
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| three generations of Floro males |
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| Great Grandma Goodrich :) |
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| My Dad |
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| My Mom |
Jackson also received his first bath, albeit a little awkward, I think we figured it out.
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| Edgar thought the picture was of him. |
I also got my first "shower". He is a crafty fella' that can manage to pee around any blockade I put up. Admittedly, the first time I forgot to cover it, and he peed all over his face. After that he has peed on me, the changing table and the wall (it's a good thing we hung those wall decorations as high as we did!) At least he provides plenty of practice!
I find myself rereading both my and chris' posts about the birth of our son. Sometimes it's hard to fight with feelings of total inadequacies and that everything I had planned out for our son doesn't seem to be fitting the bill. But as Chris put it, we planned everything without ever consulting the one it would involve. Even at this young of an age he seems to have his own opinions about things.
You are most valiant! You're in the thick of some of the hardest weeks of parenting. It is not for the weak. Fortunately, you are not weak.
ReplyDeleteI have to say how much I relate to what you said about the early days of breastfeeding. I'm not sure how bad it would've gotten or how close I might have gotten to quitting if Jon hadn't paid such close attention to the breastfeeding videos at the hospital. He'd adjust Miles' latch every time for me, pushing down on his weeny chin until he was actually eating and not just tormenting me. I owe Jon big time for helping me get started, & I'm so glad you have good supports too! In five weeks you'll be a pro; this is the hardest part of breastfeeding, in my experience.
Did Chris get paternity leave?? That's amazing!
I completely understand the slight gloom about how the birth happened. Miles' birth was kind of a fiasco and I think that made my recovery a bit harder, emotionally. Don't sell yourself short; you did amazingly in extremely trying circumstances.
I look forward to when you are in town Lissa. It would be good to actually hug you :).
ReplyDeleteChris had some reserve PTO that he was saving for this, so he got 2 weeks off (he goes back on Wednesday), but he's also protected by FMLA in case I need him around more. Plus he still has some left over PTO that needs to be used up soon.
I will tell you, the best part of feeding Jackson is when Chris comes over to feed me fruit! Especially when I'm hiding out in the nursery cause company is over. And lets face it, there is nothing subtle about what I'm doing at this point.
Planning to be in town around Leah's birthday. Going to ROC is a major motivator for me to get ready for our move. We move July 1 and leave about a week later. Maybe less, if all goes well...
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's pretty hard when with a newborn to use a cover or do anything that feels discrete. Good for you for just excusing yourself when you need to. Is it getting easier? I had to remind myself when Adele was born that even when I know what I'm doing, the baby is brand new at this and allowances must be made for an inexperienced eater.
It's getting easier from when we first got home. Unfortunately, I have to use something to help him latch on and I'm not sure if I will ever get him off of it. It's not supposed to be a permanent fix and I think it adds to his gas. But at least he's eating. He started gaining weight right when we got home- so the doc wasn't worried about inadequate intake. It's just hard when he's screaming and crying cause food isn't coming fast enough. He got a bottle early on and I think realized how less work that is for him and then got frustrated when he actually had to work for his food.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with a nursing shield if it works for you! You can definitely ditch it later. Just needs a bit of creativity. There are some ideas on KellyMom when it becomes important to ditch it. http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/wean-shield/#weaning
ReplyDeleteI think you're probably right about the comparative frustration. He's learning a new skill. I tend to scream when doing that too.
How's that RocknPlay thing treating you? I wanted one of those!
I've been slowly trying to ditch it, but as soon as he starts to show frustration I just put it back on again. The lactation people i've been working with also have me pump about 3x a day to make sure i keep up a healthy milk supply since it can decrease with the use of the shield (although I don't think that's a problem for me). That website looks helpful, so thank you.
ReplyDeleteI love the RocknPlay. Its where I put him down when I need to do things... or sleep, and it is easy to drag from room to room (living room to our bedroom.) He sleeps well in it too. We just have it stuffed with a couple blankets so the incline isn't as pronounced (I know that's probably not recommended but it's working well). This way he can sleep right next to my bed and it's easy for me to roll over and check on him.