I. am. Mom.

I have a baby. I have joined the sleep deprived, milestone marking, spit-up covered, diaper changing, clothes changing (mine and baby's) club.  I no longer own a piece of clothing or blanket or carpet that has not been christened with baby spit-up. I have also developed a tolerance for spit up that leaves me shrugging off a non-pre-determined amount of spit up and going to work sporting its sour aroma. Poop does not faze me.

My living room floor is covered in baby toys, quilt and play mat.  There is now a highchair and car seat that decorate a corner of living room.My freezer (and my mother's and in-law's) is full of milk and now home made baby food

I Am Mom.

I am learning to let go and prioritize.  It might be two weeks before I get to run the vacuum through, but we have clean clothes every week and clean dishes to eat off of each day. Also, there is usually food.  The neighbors will just have to deal with our lawn being longer than theirs and a tardy leaf pick up.

I am learning the value of teamwork and support. I would be lost if it wasn't for the help I get from my friends and family. I have to fight the urge to do it all. The fighting is getting tougher with Jackson going through a mom phase. But then I feel my knees weaken; I feel as though I'm about to fall. Sometimes I have to relearn the value of breathing and knowing when to say "when".

I am learning. I am learning the need for patience beyond what I had ever imagined. I am learning the value of sleep and how much that can impact the amount of patience I have. I am also learning how well, or not so well I can function with x number of hours of sleep.  Also, family nap times are priceless.

I am also learning that I have no idea what I am doing.